5 Surprising Positive Effects of Divorce on Children

Many are quick to presume that divorce will only negatively impact their children, but that isn’t necessarily always the case. In this article, we talk about the 5 surprisingly positive effects of divorce on children.

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Divorce can be hard for everyone involved, especially those directly impacted, such as children caught in the middle. While divorce can have a significant emotional impact on children, it can also have a positive effect on them.

Since the law has changed, it has made divorce easier for everyone involved, with no blame and conflict involved in the process anymore. Seeking no fault divorce advice from a solicitor is wise despite the law change, and it allows you to focus on your family and getting them back on their feet following the divorce, helping them to experience a positive impact instead of a negative one.

So, to learn of the five surprisingly positive effects divorce can have on children, keep reading…

1.   Children Can Spend 1-2-1 Time with Each Parent

Spending one to one time with each parent is a blessing and something most children want to do. But when parents are married, most time that is spent together is often family time, or it’s more specifically with only one parent, usually the one who primarily cares for them.

But with divorce, parents will be able to arrange or have an arrangement order, stating where the children will primarily live and how much time will be spent with each parent. This means children will be able to spend persona one to one time with each of their parents and from this, are likely to develop a closer bond to each parent.

One to one time with children can significantly benefit them, particularly helping them to feel more settled during the change, less stressed, secure, confident and more cooperative. This could be something they struggled with while you and your partner were still together and living under the same roof.

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2.   Children Can Learn Valuable Life Lessons

Children aren’t always naïve to what’s going on. They recognise when something is occurring in the family home, often sensing conflict, and witnessing it with their own eyes.

Watching parents going through a divorce can be a great way to see how conflict can be resolved, helping the child to obtain valuable life lessons for the future in terms of friendships and relationships with future partners, work colleagues, strangers and more.

In addition to learning conflict resolution skills, it also shows them that not everything in life has to be perfect, relationships don’t always last, and it’s okay to walk away from them when things aren’t right.

3.   Children Will Open Up

Understandably, some children may not handle their parent’s divorce very well. Parents can help to encourage their children to open up, either by directly talking to them and asking questions about the emotions they’re experiencing or paying for them to see a counsellor or therapist.

Using a therapist can be extremely beneficial, allowing them to speak freely in a safe space and regulate the thought processes behind the changes at home. Children can sometimes find it hard to open up to those close to them, so using a therapist is a great go to if parents feel it’s necessary. BACP provides helpful advice about therapy for children and young people.

Doing such things not only helps during the divorce but also allows children to become better with dealing with big changes and be more open to expressing their feelings. in future situations where other problems may occur.

4.   Help To Improve Their Mental Health

Parents are often quick to presume that divorce will impact their children’s mental health and often hold off on going through with a divorce until their children are older, meaning the atmosphere at home can be tense.

Children are quick to pick up on atmosphere and stress. Getting a divorce can actually help to reduce the stress they are experiencing once they’re gotten used to the change, meaning divorce can be an actual relief and better for children in the long term.

Once stress, tension and anxiety are released, other aspects of your child’s life are likely to improve, such as their schoolwork and grades.

5.   Children Can Be More Sensitive to Other People’s Emotions

When children experience personal hardship, such as their parents’ divorce, seeing the emotional impact it has had on their family can help them become more sympathetic towards others.

They may learn that, when other people experience situations similar to their own, they will be able to provide advice, comfort and support that they too have once received.

Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

Divorce Isn’t Always Bad for Children…

Many parents presume that divorce will negatively affect their children. However, what we can conclude is that in some situations it’s for the best, especially where parents are constantly arguing or are in an abusive relationship.

Removing children from a negative home space means they are often better off  and are more likely to thrive in social settings. However, for children to be positively affected by their parent’s divorce, certain support and actions need to be shown by both parents. This can include clear communication, making them feel safe and secure.

Avoid talking negatively about your ex-spouse and try and establish an efficient co-parenting strategy to create a smooth transition between homes. This helps ensure them everything will be okay. Without these actions, it’s likely that the divorce will negatively impact them.

Have you been through a divorce while having children still living at home? Were your children negatively or positively ?

 

 

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