Selfish Mother

Okay, so this is probably a little of an exaggeration but truth be told, whenever I do something ‘big’ for myself, I do feel that pang of guilt parents often get. I feel as though I should be at home with my children instead of out enjoying myself. But reality is, parents need ‘me time’ to be the best parents they can be. If we as parents don’t have a break every once in a while, we won’t be giving our children our best, in fact, we will likely be giving them a grumpy, overtired and sometimes irrational version of ourselves that we would look back on and shudder at.


As demanding as my children can be of my attention, (yes, I do mean that constant and never-ending calling of ‘Mum! Mum! Muuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy!’ I know that it’s not going to be forever. Even so, when you’re in the middle of it all, it can all become somewhat overwhelming and all consuming. It’s at these points that I feel like I’m losing myself and becoming just a mother … not a person. I’m not the person I used to be, I am a mother, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still have the same passions and desires. I want to go to the theatre. I want to go and see live bands. I want to try new things. I want to spend a whole day without having to wipe anyone else’s bum! I want to be a little bit selfish.

I decided that my New Year’s Resolution this year was therefore going to be a selfish one. I am going to find a little more ‘me time’. I am going to do the things that I’ve wanted to do for what seems like years. I’m going to spend a little more time going out without my children (whether it’s to the shops or something a little more extravagant) and I’m doing it so that my children see the best Mummy I can be.


When I say I’m going to do these things, I’m not talking about doing them every day, week or even month. But I am going to go out and not feel guilty about it.


January is going to be a busy month for me in terms of ‘me time’. It’s my birthday at the end of the month and because of this, I’ve got a few treats lined up. I spent this past Saturday in London with two of my besties eating too much, drinking a little and enjoying Thriller as a pre-birthday treat. It was just so lovely to get dressed up and wear my ‘nice’ coat and bag without having a nappy or pack of wipes in sight. We caught the train in the morning and spent the whole day just enjoying each other’s company. It was just what I needed. I actually came away feeling so refreshed and like I have more to talk about than bowel movements of my children!


This weekend my husband and I are out to dinner with the parents of one of Isabella’s new school friends which will be lovely. The following week (my birthday weekend) my husband and I are actually having a whole night away and going to see Cirque du Soleil which is something I have wanted to see for so many years! I’m too excited for words!


So here’s how my year is starting to shape up with a little ‘me time’ planned in. Admittedly, it does slow down after this but I’m still going to ensure I make time for myself and have that break.


So this is my selfish New Year’s Resolution – do any of you have ‘selfish’ resolutions too?




  1. Great New Years resolution I agree as Mother’s there is just too much guilt flying about. We still need to enjoy our lives! A bit of child free time can be so refreshing x

    • It totally is and we really need to stop with the guilt and mum shaming! Time alone can make you a better mum! xx

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